An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

Chapter 270: Section 5. Giving, selling or delivering alcoholic beverages or drugs to hospital patients; possession. Section 5. Whoever, except under the direction of a physician, gives, sells or delivers alcoholic beverages, as defined in section one of chapter one hundred and thirty-eight, or a narcotic drug to a patient in any hospital who is…