It is completely illegal to hit innocent little seal pups over the head with a heavy club – apart from on every day of the year.

Apparently Greco-Roman displays of masculinity became popular in times gone by, prompting the passage of this law. Section 13A-12-5 Unlawful bear exploitation; penalties. (a) A person commits the offense of unlawful bear exploitation if he or she knowingly does any one of the following: (1) Promotes, engages in, or is employed at a bear wrestling…