Interfering with the mail or sleeping with the consort of the Queen is classed as treason, and as such, carries the death penalty.

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A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking “at a woman in that way.” A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a “pair of horse-blinders” wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

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No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.

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750.532 Seduction; punishment. Sec. 532. Punishment. Any man who shall seduce and debauch any unmarried woman shall be guilty of a felony, punishable by imprisonment in the state prison not more than 5 years or by fine of not more than 2,500 dollars; but no prosecution shall be commenced under this section after 1 year…

Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.

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CHAPTER 43. PUBLIC INDECENCY SUBCHAPTER B. OBSCENITY § 43.21. Definitions (a) In this subchapter: (1) “Obscene” means material or a performance that: (A) the average person, applying contemporary community standards, would find that taken as a whole appeals to the prurient interest in sex; (B) depicts or describes: (i) patently offensive representations or descriptions of…