All women of “uncertain” chastity must be off the streets by 9 p.m.

Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary.

It is illegal to make love on the floor of a hotel room between two double beds.

Women who sit on men’s laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term.

Unmarried couples who live together and “lewdly associate” with one another may face up to a year in prison.

61-8-4. Lewd and lascivious cohabitation and conduct; penalty; when persons presumed to be unmarried. If any persons, not married to each other, lewdly and lasciviously associate and cohabit together, or, whether married or not, be guilty of open or gross lewdness and lasciviousness, they shall be guilty of a misdemeanor, and, upon conviction, shall be…

Arizona

It is unlawful to have more than two dildos in a house.

Can’t imagine whose job it would be to enforce this one, but I hope they’re wearing gloves!

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