• A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
• If you are released from prison, you must be given a handgun with bullets and a horse.
• You may shoot Native Americans if more than five of them are on your property.
• It’s illegal to carry a Bible or to talk to anyone about Jesus Christ.
• All business signs in the province of Quebec must be in French.
• Since 1173 it has been illegal to die.
• All lollipops are banned.
• It is illegal to say any sentence containing more than 4 words in English.
• It is considered an offense to shower naked.
• Eating a neighbor’s baby is strictly forbidden.
• You may only have one child, or a massive fine will be imposed.
• Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.
• It is against the law to speak English in Illinois.
• It is illegal to spank your child
• Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
• Driving on the roads is not allowed.
• You must be 18 years old to buy spray paint.
• During the long hours of winter darkness it is illegal to complain that you wish it were sunny.
• Elephants must not be placed in electric ovens.
• It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
• Anyone found guilty of masturbation may be decapitated.
• Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.
• Women are legally obliged to wear bras in buildings with air conditioning
• Children may not purchase cigarettes, condoms or alcohol, but they may use them. (Not all at once surely!!)
• It is illegal to have sex before you are married.